For dinner, I force myself to eat Smacks. For lunch, I have instant oatmeal with apples and bananas placed in it, like little nutritious land mines in a field of ready-made, steamy garbage. I'm certain if I don't switch things up my insides might shrivel like the Grinch's heart before he loved Christmas. I am in too much pain to have this debate right now, though. I've never heard anyone actually call it hot cereal, but somehow I know that someone out there calls it hot cereal. Technically, oatmeal is called hot cereal. The sheer amount of milk I am ingesting is making me feel nauseated, as I normally only consume dairy in my coffee. I feel like Manny Pacquiao is using my gallbladder as a speed bag. I force myself to eat plain Rice Krispies. I talk to people I don't normally talk to, and my words are senseless. I find myself standing up and walking around. It is the halfway point of my oat-filled hero's journey and I have hit a wall. Cole Saladino/Thrillistĭay 4, Thursday: Focusing is a thing of the past I swear the cereal off, as my immune system is lowered, and I cannot take the risk. My mouth is torn up from repeated Cap'n Crunch lashings. I weigh myself before I go to bed - I've lost 2lb. I have trouble running, and go home early. I welcome the soy milk, as I feel sick from the amount of dairy I've consumed. I do this while listening to Purple Rain. For dinner, I eat Cap'n Crunch with soy milk, which apparently, was Prince's favorite combination. The time I spend eating has drastically reduced, as cereal is a quick meal. "Here, you are probably experiencing food fatigue - your body is trying to intuitively tell you what it's lacking, what it needs," she says. I'm actively craving fruits and vegetables. Cereal has kind of lost its taste for me, though. I eat Frosted Flakes instead, then Special K with fruit again for lunch, and an extra bowl of Raisin Bran, to keep me regular. But, I find myself suddenly repulsed by CTC, delicious as it is, because I've eaten like, 2lb of it in the past 48 hours. I eat my morning meal with two millennial co-workers who were inspired to take up the spoon with me in solidarity. Cole Saladino/Thrillistĭay 3, Wednesday: I crave fruits and vegetables In the middle of the night, I grab a handful of CTC on my way back from the bathroom. That like, maybe this cereal thing was a bad idea. Part of me thinks it's just my new toothpaste, another thinks it might be foreshadowing. A really weird, sweet taste overwhelms my mouth as I settle into sleep. Though, with my current intake, I get about 80-120g of protein in my skim milk, which is right where I need to be. "A lot of mass-produced cereals are fortified with many of the vitamins and minerals you need," she tells me, "but there's no way you can get everything you need without a well-balanced diet." She says this very gently, after politely laughing at me. Though licensed dietitian Jennifer Christman disagrees. Overall, I'm feeling pretty good, and I think this is a damn fine idea. I have two bowls, and hum on pure, high-fructose Irish luck until lunchtime, when I toss back one bowl of Special K with some banana slices. I feel a little sluggish in the morning, but my energy's quickly rejuvenated when I crack open a fresh box of Lucky Charms for breakfast. It's a classic.ĭay 2, Tuesday: I still feel pretty good! Which reminds me I need to pick up some Life cereal at some point. I'm pleased with what life and cereal are giving me. I go running, like I usually do on Mondays, and head to bed smiling with a spoon in my hand and milk in my spoon. I've had nine bowls of CTC today, fell well under my average daily calorie count (I'm hitting about 1,400), and feel satisfied. For dinner, I have more Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC from here on out). For lunch, I throw caution to the wind and eat two bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. To keep my diet stabilized, I want to match that number as best I can. This means I need to eat about 13-15 measured standard serving sizes of cereal with a half-cup of skim milk each and every day. I also plan to add in fruit to one meal a day. Normally, I consume approximately 2,000 calories a day. I'm late for work, so I begin my first cereal-only day on the subway with Froot Loops (as dramatically recreated above).
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